Mar 12

A Loftier Perspective

With “Slumdog Millionaire” dominating the Oscars and “The White Tiger” (last year’s Booker prize winner) being this year’s hot book (at least among Indian travelers), the world is being exposed to the extreme disparities that exist in India. After visiting Behar (India’s poorest state) and having lived only in monasteries and backpacker ghettos, I decided to see what it looked like further north up the socio-economic ladder by venturing further south to Chennai. I knew things were going to be different when my friend/host wrote, “I will have my driver pick you up from the airport.” This was not “our” driver or “the” driver, but her driver (they have two)…

To be fair to my kind and gererous hosts, Kanika and Vellayan, the south Indian world that they moved back to (from the states where I met them) is simply not set up for life as we know it in the west. Traffic is aggressive in a stampede like way and infuriating to the point where if I were to have driven anywhere, I would have needed the rest of the day to recover. When I asked why no one stopped at the clearly painted “stop” lines on the roadway. I was told that you would be smashed into by whatever car, bus, truck or motor bike might be pushing you from behind. Then, in the inevitably subsequent argument (which we wittnessed multiple times), you would clearly be the one in the wrong. Furthermore, parking is often non-existant, so someone has to stay with the car anyway.

So, drivers are a given. But, similar arguments can be made for the rest of the household staff which included nannies, housekeepers, a cook and a guard. If this sounds heavenly to you, consider the management issues and the groceries needed to feed the whole team (even if someone else is doing the shopping). Add in language barriers (Tamil Nadu has it’s own language) and general Indian inefficiencies and one might argue that the system was more effort that luxury.

To put things in perspective, the lives of my hosts looked similar to many married couples I know in The Bay Area. They live in a nice home and are both successful professionals running their own businesses and trying to find a healthy balance between home, work and family. Their two energetic sons Karthik (6) and Kabir (4) keep them on their toes when the challenges (not to mention the heat) of the day might encourage a more restive pose.

With all these servants it seemed that someone had to rest. So, I took it upon myself to shoulder that burden. Yes, I had been in meditation for about a month, but that was not really rest. While in Chennai, I still had time to meditate every day, but also got to read and catch up on my delinquent blog entries and e-mails (and continue my fruitless attempts to get even rudimentary levels of service from multiple banks, but we won’t go back there).

My biggest challenge was practicing the art of receiving. I certainly wasn’t contributing much (though I did lead a series of yoga classes at the posh Madras Club, but that was not especially taxing). I eventually got used to one of the staff following me around, picking up after me, doing my laundry and continually asking if I want tea or food or anything. But, being a “guest” has it’s down sides as well. I was used to being a free spirited traveler doing whatever I want with no one to answer too. How am I supposed to know what time I am going to want lunch?

One of the nicest parts of the visit was being welcomed into a warm and vibrant social network. One of Kanika’s associates, Pearl, was staying at the house as well. In addition, there were multiple opportunities to meet other close friends (many of whom attended the yoga classes). Saturday evening had a particularly familiar feel, when a group of friends came over to the house. We talked, we laughed, we ate and put a serious dent into the family collection of California Cabernets (all of which had been “carried-on” from one trip or another).

In the end, this chapter of my travel adventure was a nice opportunity to deepen my friendships with the Kanika and Vellayan. In addition, it let them see that the yoga teacher they knew was really just a normal guy bumbling his way through India. It let me see that good people are good people wherever they go and no matter how many servants they may have to deal with.

…Keith